Turning Around

Lost. Alone. Floating in an ocean of water where oxygen bubbles don’t exist. When you wave your arms there is no motion of water. No sensation of actually moving. Below you the deepening darkness. It waits like a monster's mouth, yet you never move towards it. It just waits taunting you. Above you far, far, far off the water turns to a light blue. You ache to go up there, but you think it's too late.

A voice like a whale call, but with a minor note singed onto it tells you you're not worthy to go up there. You're forgotten down here. It’s too late. That voice you almost feel is a comfort now that you've heard it awhile. It’s so constant. It feels like a friend almost. At the same time you despise what it has to say. You want to quiet it, but it tells you it understands your situation. It causes you to wallow in self pity. You're floating in the darkness, the whale like sound taunting you, then tells you you can't stop it.

An ember light deep down in your soul. A protest. An anger. The feeling boils up inside you, fear, anger, self pity, a wildness that can’t be contained. “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” the words you've hidden in your spirit for so long come   stumbling out into a yell. The melancholy voice vanishes. Even it’s echo disappears.

A new presence takes place behind you. You feel it, and chills goes up you spine. A presence much more powerful and dangerous that the voice, but radiating with love and goodness. You turn around, and there floats a holy figure in the form of a man. He’s wearing a blinding white robe. With dark skin and hair. His face has a deep understanding, and when you raise your head to look into his eyes, they have flames of fire in them.

You start to weep, for his face is so holy. “Don’t cry child, I’m here now.” his voice is peace. He pulls you into an embrace. He starts to laugh, not an evil, taunting laugh, but a laugh so full of joy that a tingling sensation fills your whole being. “Oh how I’ve longed for you to turn around! I’ve been knocking! Oh my child I love  you. I love you!” Words your being has been longing to hear. They fill you with an unspeakable joy.

Hand in hand you somehow float easily through the heavy water you could never before move alone. You and him break through the surface of the water you’ve  always longed to see. The sun burns your skin, so long had you forgotten it. Memories flood back, of joy, peace an impossible relationship, made possible by Jesus. The man, Jesus, turns to you, “Come, lets walk on water together. Oh what wonderful plans I have for you!”